Adoption: Nobody's Perfect

In this past Sunday morning’s sermon, we explored the concept of being adopted into God’s Family (you can hear that sermon by clicking here).  Every person who has placed their faith in Jesus Christ has experienced adoption – even if they don’t recognize that it has occurred.   God has adopted us as his children and so we can call him Heavenly Father – indeed, we can call him “Abba, Father” or “Daddy”.   Perhaps this is why human adoption is so important.  Jesus’ brother James says in James 1:28 that

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

God looks at the idea of taking care of orphans and widows with such importance because his heart is for the broken, the downtrodden, and the helpless.  

It can be hard for many of us to relate to the concept of adoption because adoption of a human baby is not something that everyone experiences personally.   Sure, some reading this have perhaps adopted children and others may have even been adopted themselves.  But for most of us, adoption is more of an abstract concept than a reality.  Truthfully, though, we are all downtrodden; we are all broken; and we are all helpless.  Our sin has left us orphaned and without hope.  This is why God the Father is willing to adopt us.

This week, I have asked someone who has experienced adoption first hand to share that experience with us.  My nephew, Matthew Michalke, and his wife, Emily recently adopted a beautiful special needs baby girl from China.   Perhaps Matthew and Emily’s testimony will shed some light on this whole idea of adoption into God’s family.

Our Experience Adopting From China

By Matthew Michalke

 The form contained four columns of deformities, syndromes, diseases, and conditions. With a series of check marks we were to give our social worker a clearer picture of the child we were searching for. Months before we had begun the process of a special needs adoption, but with this form came the sobering reality that our child would not be “perfect”.  We all understand that perfection is relative. No one expects to give birth to a child that is flawless. They’ll all have their unique ways of getting into trouble. They’ll all have their times of disobedience. When it comes to physical health and appearance, however perfection is every parent’s expectation.
                My wife and I began the process of adoption knowing that we would adopt a child with a special need, but having no direction as to what that need would be. After months of prayer and several weeks of staring at that ominous form, the Lord led us to select Down Syndrome.  As life changing as this decision was, the Lord had shown both of us that DS was only one trait of the child that we were looking for. It did not define her. It did not determine her future. It was simply one more clue to help us find her.
                After nine months of hoping, wishing, praying, and searching we did finally find her and bring her home.

                 In the eyes of the world Vivian Ruth is imperfect. She has a condition that will affect every aspect of her life for the rest of her life. For many years, children with her condition were hidden away and not given an opportunity to live, learn, or work. I don’t foolishly think that Vivian’s life will look like that of the average girl. First cars, graduations, and weddings may not necessarily be in her future. However, those accomplishments and milestones do not determine her worth or value.
                She amazes us daily with new skills; learning the alphabet, counting to ten, doing a flip on the monkey bars. Vivian has brought an abundance of joy into our lives and we cannot imagine our family without her. To her mother and me, she is not an orphaned child with DS. She’s our daughter; our beautiful, intelligent, funny, compassionate little girl. In our eye’s she’s perfect.
                The truth is we’re all flawed. We’re all damaged goods. Maybe it’s not seen in your physical appearance or your mental aptitude, but depravity has touched us all in ways that we cannot even begin to comprehend. We are all broken and fatherless. We are all imperfect orphans. Don’t agree with that description of yourself? Just read the words of the Apostle Paul:
                In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace (Eph. 1:5-7)
                We are all in need of redeeming. Our trespasses have left a relationship with our creator impossible for us to attain. Like Vivian, we were all at the mercy of our father to come and bring us home. There were no forms or checks required for this adoption; only the blood of a perfect sacrifice. For those of us whom the Lord has brought to salvation, the work of Christ has covered our sin and made it possible for us to be sons and daughters of God. As I look at Vivian, so the Lord looks at us. Because of Christ He does not see our failures and shortcomings; He looks at us, covered with the blood of the atonement, and sees His beautiful children.
He has saved us. He has brought us home. In His eyes we have great worth. 

As I read Matthew and Emily's testimony, I could not help but think that just as they chose to adopt their baby girl in full knowledge of all of her imperfections and with every expectation of challenges and difficulties as a result, God chose to create humanity knowing it would rebel, be imperfect, and cause difficulties.  God was not surprised at our disobedience, and yet God still loved us enough to create us.  Moreover, he loved us enough to make a way for us to be adopted into his family – despite all our imperfections. 

Who Am I?
I Am Adopted

Pray Without Ceasing

When Paul says “pray without ceasing” in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, what picture comes to your mind?

For most of us, when we think about prayer, we know and understand it as a specific event in time.  We stop what we are doing; we bow our heads and close our eyes; and we somehow direct our words and thoughts towards heaven to a God who we believe to be listening.   Sometimes it is private – such as in the privacy of our homes.  Sometimes it is public – as in church or some other public setting.  For many of us, it occurs at a regular, scheduled time that we have specifically set aside for the purpose of communing with God. 

In that context, the thought of incessant prayer just doesn’t seem appropriate.  We could not possibly live out our entire lives with our heads bowed and our eyes closed.  That just seems ridiculous.  So in response, we either do not worry about Paul’s words to pray without ceasing or we transform them into some ethereal concept where somehow we are always in a state of spiritual prayerfuness.  Even in my ESV Study Bible, the study notes for 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says “Pray without ceasing suggests a mental attitude of prayerfulness….” I think that concept can be very discouraging and misleading.  Quite simply, I don’t think it is possible to live that way either.  Personally, I know for me that I cannot continue in a “mental attitude of prayerfulness” all the time.  I’m just not that spiritual and to claim that I am would make me a hypocrite.  More importantly, I’m not really sure I think that is the goal.  Somehow, I just don’t think that what Paul meant when he said pray without ceasing was that we were to somehow go through the day with our head in the clouds.

On the other hand, I don’t think the concept is too far off the mark.  It just – at least in my opinion – needs a bit of tweaking to reflect the reality of our life on earth.  The ESV study notes even recognizes this by continuing its commentary as follows: “Pray without ceasing suggests a mental attitude of prayerfulness, continual personal fellowship with God, and consciousness of being in his presence throughout the day.”  That, I think, is getting closer, but probably still not completely there.  There’s something missing even in that explanation, and in my opinion, it all has to do with our walk with God.

From the very beginning of human history, God wanted to walk with us.  In the Garden of Eden, before the fall, God regularly came down to earth and walked with Adam and Eve.  After the fall, Genesis tells us that Enoch walked with God. His walk was so close that one day he and God were out for a walk and instead of departing ways, God just said “Enoch, why don’t you just come on home with me today” (that is the Joel paraphrase version of Genesis 5:24).  Similarly, Genesis also tells us that Noah “walked with God” (Gen 6:9).  When God made his covenant with Abraham in Genesis 17:1 he said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless.”  Eventually, this idea of walking with God kind of morphed into the idea of walking in God’s ways.  Throughout the Old Testament, the Children of Israel were commanded and exhorted to walk in God’s ways and to keep his statutes; but the idea was still that doing so implied God would be with them and would walk with them in return.  Even in the New Testament, we see Jesus walking (literally) with his disciples and even when he left them, he said “I will be with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt 28:20).  Finally, Paul tells us in both Colossians 1:10 and 1 Thessalonians 2:12 that we should “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord.”

Clearly, there is a biblical concept and expectation that says as we go through our daily lives, we are to be walking with God and that he has promised that he would be with us as we go on that walk.  When I think about this concept, I cannot help but think about how Patty and I sometimes go for walks together.  We put the dog on a leash, put our walking shoes on, and head out into the neighborhood.  However, when we walk together, we don’t just pass silently through the neighborhood without acknowledging one another’s presence, never saying anything to each other.  That would just be creepy.  On the other hand, I don’t stop my wife, turn to her and step to the edge of the road (I don’t want to get run over after all), declare that now is the time for us to have a conversation, and then proceed to talk about things as the cars go by.  That would just be weird and my dog would get impatient.  Instead, we continue our walk and, as things come to mind that need to be discussed, we talk about it.  Conversation is free flowing and without thought of consequences. It is a result of the fact that we have a good relationship and that communication between us comes easily. That doesn’t mean that we are necessarily talking to each other every second of the walk, but rather are in a state of fellowship such that the need to talk is not an event, but rather a natural outpouring of our walk together.

On the other hand, if my relationship with my wife were strained, things would be different.  Conversation would not be as free flowing.  We probably wouldn’t be talking walks together, and thoughts that just come to my mind would not necessarily just be spoken without first considering carefully the consequences.   If there were something important we needed to discuss, it would probably be more like an “event” than a conversation.  The same is true if I needed to have a conversation about something serious with someone that I am not as close to as my wife.  I would probably find a time where I could get their undivided attention, sit down with them, and begin with the dreaded phrase, “There’s something I have been meaning to talk to you about.”

This is how I view Paul’s exhortation to pray without ceasing.  Too often our relationship with God is such that when we need to talk to him, it is as if we are pulling God off into a corner of the room, sitting him down, and saying “God, there’s something I have been meaning to talk to you about.”   Instead, we ought to be walking with God – walking in his ways – in such a way that our relationship with God is more like when Patty and I are on a walk together – only even better than that.   When we walk with God, it ought to be such that when we have something that comes to mind, we just freely express that to God.  We don’t stop what we are doing, bow our heads, close our eyes, and begin with the formal “Dear Heavenly Father….”  Instead, we just simply say (verbally or in our spirit), “God, I was thinking…” and then we tell him what we were thinking.  Sure, even for the best of us (and I don’t claim to be one of the best of us), there are portions (sometimes large portions) of our day where we don’t say anything to God.  But when we do have something to say to God, it just flows naturally out of our relationship with him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think it is very important to have a regular, scheduled time where you specifically sit down, put away all distractions, and have a deliberate time of prayer with God.  This is part of our Spiritual Disciplines and it actually helps us improve our walk with God.  However, when we really are walking with God, continual, regular “prayer” throughout the day should be a natural consequence.  It might be big things.  It might be small things.  Or it might just be thoughts and commentary.  But when you walk with God, to pray without ceasing just comes naturally as an outpouring of your relationship to him.