Faith and Faithfulness

Something wonderful is about to happen. I don’t yet know what it is, but I am in great anticipation. In just a few days, I am going to India. And yes, I know saying that violates one of the most important social media cardinal rules. However, lest any potential home invaders are reading this, my home is not empty. There will be someone there – my wife. I do have family and friends looking out after my wife and I have a dog that not only barks quite loudly and viciously at every stranger that dares come to the door, but also sleeps on the floor beside my wife when I am not at home. With that said, back something wonderful about to happen.

I know that something wonderful is about to happen because this trip has been an act of complete faith and a demonstration of God’s faithfulness from the beginning.

Early this fall, Designs For Hope received the invitation to return to Eluru, India to participate in the celebration of the dedication of a new church (cathedral). Immediately God impressed upon me that He wanted me to go – at least, that was what my spirit was telling me. At the same time, though, I didn’t think it would be possible to go. When we discussed the offer, the initial responses from Chris and the others at DFH was a pretty strong “no” - we even responded back to our friends in Eluru telling them that we could not make it. And yet God was still impressing upon me to go.

One of the reasons I didn’t think it was possible to go was because this trip would be during the peak of the Christmas season. No one really wants to go all the way around the world and be away from family during this time – not even me. Surely God did not want me to travel that far alone. Is that safe? Is it wise? Not by man’s standard of wisdom and safety. So even though we had already decided not to go and had told our friends in Eluru that we would not make it, I made some quiet inquiries to see if others might be interested in going with – but no one else could go. Still, God was impressing upon me to go – even if I were the only one going. God’s standard of safety and man’s standard of safety are not the same.

Even then, I didn’t think it was possible to go because, quite frankly, I didn’t have the money to go. A trip of this kind is expensive enough when a number of people are going and you can spread some of the fixed costs (like product that we would be taking) across several people. It is all the more expensive if only one goes. Sure, everyone knows I give away homemade salsa in exchange for donations towards my mission trips, but there is no way I could make enough salsa to fund this trip. In addition, the timing for raising the funds couldn’t be any worse. Designs For Hope’s annual fundraiser dinner and silent auction was coming up during this same time period. How could I raise funds directly associated with this trip without taking away from the more general fundraising of the benefit dinner? But God was still impressing upon me to go. God’s economy and man’s economy are not the same.

So I took a step of faith. I made a decision. I would go – even if no one goes with me. It reminds me of the old carol “I have decided to follow Jesus” – “though none go with me, still I will follow.” I would go – even though I had no idea how to pay for the trip. I would go – even though the DFH leadership already said we were not going. It was by far one of the largest steps of faith I have taken in my life. So I went to Chris and told him… I’m going… and then I immediately applied for my travel visa.

Here is the amazing principle that so many of us fail to grasp (we know it in our heads but perhaps do not always believe it in our hearts) God’s response to our faith is always the same - his faithfulness. Not only was Chris not upset, but even his heart had softened towards the trip and the DFH leadership decided to partially fund the trip. But that was just the start. Within one week of applying for the visa, I had raised the entire remaining funds necessary for the trip. Funds given specifically for the purpose of the trip. It was the most amazing outpouring of generosity I had ever seen. But even that was only the beginning. Not only did we raise the minimum travel funds necessary, but we raised enough to do far above what we could have imagined for one person traveling alone. AND… it didn’t affect the benefit dinner fundraising either. This year’s benefit dinner was a huge success. It was God’s faithfulness in action. But that faithfulness did not stop there.

At every turn, God has been faithful. While I am there, I will be doing a full day of pastor training and will be preaching 3 times. Two are services related to the church dedication and the third is Sunday services. God has graciously given all that I need for all of that work. The pastor training will be about discipleship and God has given me two sermons that I believe will be perfect for the occasion of dedicating the new building. Also, Sunday will be the third week of Advent. Why is that significant? Because the third week of Advent is all about JOY… oh yeah, I wrote a whole book on Joy (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C7E7SJS)... Who but God could have worked out that kind of timing? Faithfulness in action.

With all of that faithfulness being poured out, I still can’t say I’m not nervous about this trip. There is still the whole “traveling abroad alone” thing. But then again, am I really alone? Of course not, but it will still be an act of faith for me to step on that plane. I also can’t say I’m not nervous about the ministry aspect of the trip. Satan is constantly filling my head with thoughts of inadequacy. Who am I to go over there and presume to train them? Who am I to go over there and preach to them? I don’t know how to install bicycle generators. That effort will certainly be a huge flop. There’s no one there to have your back. The whole trip will be a flop. Why are you even going? These are the thoughts constantly running through my head. So I go… but I go in faith…
Without a doubt, God has worked out everything so perfectly the way he wanted. How can I not have faith that he will be faithful? So… that is why I can say… Something wonderful is about to happen. God is faithful. I have faith in that.

A Blog Post Long in the Making

It has been almost 12 months since I have posted anything on this blog. In fact, as I prepare to go to Eluru, India I realize that the last time I wrote anything on my blog was just after my trip to Eluru last January. I did not even blog anything about our very successful Designs For Hope (www.designsforhope.org) trip to Bwera, Ugana this past July. Maybe no one cares because no one was reading anyway, but then again, maybe there is meaning in the silence.

2014 has been a year of refocusing for me. I began the year struggling terribly with my ministry. I was serving faithfully as youth pastor at a very small church in Irondale, AL but there was very little joy in the work and the outward evidence of fruit was almost non-existent. I’m not suggesting there was no fruit, just that it wasn’t clearly evidence. It was very discouraging. Even more discouraging was the physical toll that the work was taking on Patty. There were so few of us working with so many troubled kids, and she would not admit that physically she could not take it. I tried to get her to back off, but her truthful response was simply “there’s no one else to do the work”. In all honesty, that precious little church – whom we both loved so dearly – was simply ill equipped to handle the type of ministry to at-risk kids that was required in that neighborhood. So we stepped down.

For months, I searched for the next ministry opportunity – all the while staying engaged in what Designs For Hope was doing – preparing for the next Designs For Hope trip to Uganda in July. We returned to our home church and I immediately got involved in teaching discipleship classes. Preaching, teaching, and discipleship have always been my passion. I have a great desire to disciple other men and could not wait until God gave me my own church so that I could instigate a systematic program of small group discipleship similar to what Jesus did – choosing a few men to disciple, teaching them how to disciple others, and then sending them out to do just that - except God never gave me that church.

It can truly be depressing to feel like you know what God wants you to do, but be unable to do it because God does not see fit to put you into the right place to do that. I really think part of the reason that I did not do any blog writing in this period of my life is that I honestly didn’t think I had anything to say. Clearly, there was something out of whack because I was simply unable to accomplish what I (at least I thought I) knew in my heart God wanted for my life. That kind of thinking, of course, presumes that your expectation of the proper path is wiser and smarter than God’s.

Then two things happened that changed everything. The first was our Designs For Hope trip in July to Bwera, Uganda. Because of my passion for teaching, I have always tried to engage in some form of pastor/church leader training whenever I go on mission trips. It started on my 2009 mission trip to Peru, where an unforeseen illness during the trip sidelined my evangelism work. Instead, I was blessed with the opportunity to train some church leaders on basic church-related doctrines. It was an unexpected blessing that I will never forget. Since then, such training has been a personal staple of my missions work. When I went to Eluru in January of this year (2014), I spent a whole day in pastor training. It was a huge success – so much so that when I go back there in a few days I will be doing it again. When I went to Bwera in July, I did the same thing. That was also such a huge success that they are likewise eagerly waiting the time when we can come back again. I say that not to boast or to pat myself on the back. The only boasting I have is in the cross of Christ AND in the simple fact that how could it NOT be successful when God himself matches your own personal passions (preaching, teaching, and discipleship) with his plans. You see, it was coming home from the Bwera, Uganda trip that I realized I was seeking the right thing – obedience in ministry – but in the wrong venue. It became clear to me that God does not (at least not at this time) want me pastoring a church – or a youth group – or a children’s ministry. Instead, I came to the realization that he wanted me to go as often as possible to the remotest places on the planet - places where faithful and willing saints are taking on the mantle of shepherd but have no access to biblical training whatsoever – and to help empower those pastors through whatever training I am able (through His power) to give. I’m no Billy Graham or Greg Laurie. I’m no David Platt or Francis Chan. I’m not Wayne Grudem or Millard Erikson to be a theologian. I’m not a seminary professor. I see no reason why God would choose me for this task. Truly, I am nobody. But I have realized that the simple Sunday morning or mid-week biblical and theological training that the average Christian in America takes for granted and very often turns his/her nose up to would be considered ministry-changing in just about every mission field I have visited. And while I am underqualified and inadequate to the task, leaning wholly on God’s gracious provision to do what he is asking me to do, I rejoice at the opportunity every time it is presented to me.

As a result, together with the rest of the team from Designs For Hope, I have committed myself to the effort of training pastors. No, I haven’t been writing blogs, but I have been writing. I’ve been writing theological training geared to the educational level of the average pastor in a developing country. And I will keep on writing this way for a long time – until God no longer has anything for me to write. And we will do our best to find opportunities to deliver that training – not only in person, but through technology such as smart phones. Designs For Hope has kicked off a new project called {Co}Mission (http://www.designsforhope.org/comission/) whereby we will be attempting to deliver biblical training content and other helps via smart phones. It is still early in development, but it has given my ministry a new purpose – one that brings more joy to my heart than any children’s ministry or youth pastor position ever has. Not that I regret any of those. They have been instrumental in my ministry development. But this is the ministry that God has called me to do.

Of course I cannot move overseas. Why you ask? That is a whole different blog. However, trust me when I say that I am confident God has called me overseas, but has not called me to move permanently overseas. That means when I am not overseas, I am here… I have no near term intentions of taking on a pastorate or another children’s or youth ministry position because – as my friend, Bob Hall reminded me – that would be a distraction from my true calling. So that brings me to the second thing that happened that changed my perspective. In God’s Sovereignty, the pastor at my home church independently caught the same vision for small group discipleship that was already in my heart. In fact, he went so far as to develop teaching guides, helps, and even a smart phone app for use in small group discipleship. Imagine 6 or 8 people, reading though the New Testament together, meeting together on a weekly basis to discuss what they have read, asking and answering questions about the text. Now that is what I call discipleship. Right now I am leading 2 such groups and am about to split one of those into a third because of how it has grown. This speaks directly to my passion for obedient discipleship and it allows me to minister while still being able to carry out God’s calling on my life to train pastors in developing countries.

Oh yeah… lest I forget… I’m still getting opportunities to preach. Perhaps I am not preaching every Sunday like I would if I were a pastor, but God is faithful and merciful enough to toss me a preaching opportunity here and there, satisfying my passion for preaching.

I have no idea whether anyone really wants to read this – or even why I am writing it. After not blogging for so long, I wondered if I should even do it… if I shouldn’t rather just take down the blog altogether. But here it is. And the point? For me, there is once again joy in ministry and for that I boast – not for myself – but in God’s wisdom and mercy – for his knowing better than me what will satisfy the longing in my soul. Out of the depression comes rejoicing. Out of silence comes praise. For you, there is encouragement to remember that no matter what dark valley you may be in, God is there… and he has plans…