Sometimes faith is just plain hard.
Over the fourth of July week, Patty and I had the privilege to go on a
mission trip to Ecuador. We stayed at an
orphanage called House of Happiness (http://www.housesofhappiness.org/)that was founded by the late Henry Davis
and his wife Dorothy the year I was born - 1966. While we were there, we heard many stories
told by Mrs. Davis about the miracles of faith that God had performed to
provide for their needs and the needs of the orphanage over the years. Her message to all of us was to “Trust
and Obey” – to not put God in a box because he could do wondrous and miraculous
things to accomplish his purposes.
As I listened to her stories of miraculous provision, I knew that the
message was for me. I’ve been in
somewhat of an interim stage of my ministry – literally. This summer I am teaching on Wednesday nights
as part of temporary interim for a local church that a friend of mine used to
pastor until he recently moved to Georgia.
I am teaching “The Life of Christ” at the Lovelady Center on Thursday
nights as part of a new program for the ladies there. I am involved in a non-profit ministry called
Designs for Hope (http://www.designsforhope.org ). And from time to time I am teaching Sunday School. There is no question I am “busy” for the
Lord. Who knows, it may very well be that I am doing exactly what God wants me to do for the long term. Deep down, though, I still think somehow
that I am waiting on the Lord for something.
I am just not sure what that something is or when it will occur, but I truly believe it is out
there waiting. So as I listened to Mrs. Davis,
I was struck with the thought that something was about to happen in my life
that was going to require obedience and trust.
I just didn’t realize how quickly it would come up nor did it take the form I thought it would.
I am sitting at work yesterday about mid-morning when I get a call from
a gentleman (Mr. Jim Thomason) who is on the board of TLA Ministries (http://www.tlaministries.org). I had met with this gentleman a couple of
months ago about the possibility that Designs for Hope and TLA Ministries could
work together to provide pastors in rural areas of India with low voltage electricity
for their homes. His ministry distributes bicycles and motorcycles to pastors in India. Our ministry provides bicycle or motorcycle powered 12V battery chargers for pastors and church leaders in areas where power is unavailable or unreliable. It certainly seems like it would be a great ministry partnership. It was a good meeting,
but with no definitive future action taken except the possibility of a later
meeting somewhere down the line with A.K. Lama, the ministry’s director. Such a meeting would occur whenever he next came to town. With no such trip scheduled in the near future, I soon put TLA ministries on the back burner - until yesterday.
Apparently,
Dr. Lama had come into town unexpectedly and wanted to have lunch with me that
very day to discuss the potential ministry partnership. It was last minute, but I
contacted the Designs for Hope director, Chris Bond, and we agreed to meet the
two for lunch. It was a very good meeting,
with good discussions about how the two ministries could work together. Then Dr. Lama looked at us and said “I would very much like for the two
of you to come to India this fall for one of our distribution ceremonies”. I think we were both initially stunned - at least I was.
This certainly sounds like a wonderful opportunity if we have the faith to act on
it - and I am a man of faith – or at
least I like to call myself one. Sometimes,
though, that faith is not as strong as it ought to be. I hate to admit it, but I would not be
truthful to myself or to anyone else to say otherwise. In particular, when it comes to money, my
faith is most weak. It doesn’t matter
that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills; I still struggle. Designs for Hope is still a developing ministries
whose resources are limited. My
resources are also limited, with one kid in college and another on his way to
college next month. Patty and I just got back from
a week-long mission trip in Ecuador, which we had to raise the money for in order to go. India is not a trip that I can just pull out
the checkbook and write a check for. How
in the world can I raise the money to go to India on such short notice?
Faith. Sometimes it can be so hard. In my head, I have no doubt that if this is God’s will (which I believe it to be the case) that he will provide. It certainly isn't the long term ministry opportunity that I think I am waiting around for, but I do think it is something that God wants me to do and so I need to "Trust and Obey". In my heart, though, I don’t mind saying that faith is sometimes difficult. I think if you were honest, you would probably agree with me.
There is a story in Mark chapter 9 of a man who comes to Jesus because
his boy is possessed by an unclean spirit.
He explains the situation to Jesus and then says “if you can” please
have compassion on the boy. Jesus’ reply
is one of almost astonishment… in the ESV he says with exclamation “If you
can!" Let me just say right there that if Jesus chastises you in astonishment for something you say, then you have been properly chastised! Jesus then goes on to say instructively that "All things are possible for one who
believes.” The man’s enigmatic response
to Jesus is one I can so identify with. It is both a capitulation to the chastisement he deserved, but also points to how difficult it is
sometimes to have faith. His response to
that situation was the same as the one I have to my situation today…. “I
believe; help my unbelief!”
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