Man of Sorrows

I just love the movie “O Brother Where Art Thou.” In it, the Soggy Bottom Boys sing a song called “Man of Sorrows.” I can so relate.

Most of us can relate, can we not? Why is it that this life is so full of sorrows? Why must we go through such hardships? Doesn’t our creator love us enough to keep us from these times? Man, that just gets down to the heart of the matter doesn’t it?

Depression is such a rampant problem in our society. Most of us are plagued by it from time to time. I myself struggle with it. Depression is not something new, though. Some of the greatest men in the history of the world suffered with it, including godly men such as Charles Spurgeon, who had depression so bad that often he could not even preach. It just must be a part of our human experience to suffer. Let’s be real with ourselves. Deep down, doesn’t that somehow and sometimes just make you want to question the loving nature of your creator? Think about these situations:

Job obviously suffered:

• If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas—no wonder my words have been impetuous. (Job 6:2-3)

David suffered on numerous occasions:

• Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? (Ps 6:2-3)
  Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. (Ps 31:9-10)

Jeremiah was called the weeping prophet:

• Oh, my anguish, my anguish! I writhe in pain. Oh, the agony of my heart! My heart pounds within me, I cannot keep silent. (Jer 4:19)

Daniel was deeply distressed by the visions God gave him:

• I opened my mouth and began to speak. I said to the one standing before me, "I am overcome with anguish because of the vision, my lord, and I am helpless. How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe." (Dan 10:16-17)

Paul suffered on numerous occasions, had a thorn in his side, and grieved over his brothers:

• I speak the truth in Christ—I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit— I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, (Rom 9:1-3)

In fact, all of the apostles were persecuted and according to tradition and church history most died horrific deaths. Different sources provide different accounts, but by all accounts they were almost all martyred.

Jesus himself was called THE man of sorrows:

• He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Is 53:3)

Just before his death, which itself was of great tribulation and suffering, Jesus faced great personal anguish and sorrow:

• An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:43-44)

Well-intended people may give lots of reasons why we face such difficulties. Like Job’s friends, they may suggest it is the result of our sin – and sometimes it may be. They might suggest that it is Satan attacking them – and like Paul’s thorn in the flesh – it may be. They might suggest that it is just the way things are – and wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, would agree that it may be… he said:

• Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. (Ecc 3:19)
• There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: righteous men who get what the wicked deserve, and wicked men who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. (Ecc 8:14)

The truth is, we spend way too much time worrying about why such things happen and trying to lay blame for them on anything we can think of, including God. We will never be able to figure out why God allows things to happen the way he does. For example, why did Jesus allow John the Baptist to be beheaded in prison, but he sent an angel to rescue Peter from prison? Why did God rescue Paul from prison so many times only to leave him to remain in prison for several years and to ultimately lose his life in Rome? Solomon figured this out when he said

• So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God's hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him. (Ecc 9:1)

We are going to go through hard times, but we must remember that God is in control:

• When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. (Ecc. 7:14)

Even Jesus himself warned us of such:

• "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (Jn 16:33)

As I write this, I am personally going through some of the darkest times of my life. Those around me have no idea exactly how difficult the times I am facing really are. There are so many people depending on me and I fear that I will let them all down. The troubles are greater than any I have ever experienced and the potential consequences are life-altering. I so relate to these words from Paul to the Corinthians

• We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (1 Cor 4:8-9)

Except that I wonder when I will be crushed. I often feel abandoned. And destruction often seems inevitable. Depression. Yes, I too am a man of sorrow. It is OK to question God. Jesus himself on the cross cried out “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” So I too can ask the question: Why, God? I don’t understand. And yet, in my questioning, I cannot lose faith. It is not for me to understand so much as it is to trust. Trust in the Lord. Have faith. Stand firm. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. When all else fails, I still must say with David…

• Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. (Ps 20:16)

The best way to deal with these difficulties is to change the way we think about them. When facing such difficulties, we need to focus on God’s promises rather than on whatever fear has beset us. God is our fortress; he is our strength; he is our salvation.

• But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. (Ps 59:16)

Oddly enough… despite all the troubles I am facing and the fear I experience and the depression I know that I am feeling… I’ve been waking up every morning with praise songs in my head. Was I singing in my sleep? This morning, the “cafeteria lady” caught me whistling… I didn’t even know I was whistling. These are gifts from God, not my own doing.

• The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. (Ps 28:7)
• Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." (Is 12:2)
• The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. (Ps 118:14)

We must always remember that it is God’s strength that carries us. We cannot carry on in our own strengths. If you knew what all I have been facing, you would say “how are you managing it?” I am not. If I had any idea what you were facing, I’m most certain I would be amazed and ask you the same question. Never forget that you are not alone…

• The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? (Ps 118:6)

And we must trust that he will answer us before we have reached the point where we can no longer bear it

• In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. (Ps 118:5)
• I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me. (Ps 118:13)

But regardless of what happens, whether it is what we want or something that we could never imagine might happen to us, we must remember this:

• And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28)

This we must believe… We have no idea how immense the plan of God is. He knows far more than we can ever imagine and his omnipotence is such that even evil can be used by him for good. I think we forget that sometimes.

This life is nothing more than a vapor. We may have to suffer, possibly even face death, but our hope is not in this life. Our hope is in eternity. If nothing else, that should drive away whatever fears are besetting us:

• For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Rom 8:15-18)

Think about it… would you abandoned your children? Neither will he.

The Nails - Part II

How many days had Jonathan wandered looking for anyone? Had it been weeks? Months? Years? He certainly had lost count and had no conception of the passage of time. He wasn’t wearing a suit anymore, but had picked up some casual clothes somewhere along the way. He had given up trying to shave so now he had a full beard and his hair was shoulder length. Each day he awoke and spoke the names of those he loved – hoping that somehow by calling their name they would appear. At first, he had limited his chant to his immediate family – his wife and his children. But soon, he had expanded to his parents, his sister and two brothers, and his in-laws. Eventually, he was calling out the names of everyone he knew. It was as much a matter of maintaining his sanity as it was anything else. He wandered from city to city, calling out the names of those he knew and loved, but secretly hoping that he would find anyone at all. It was somewhat of a ritual, now, though because he had long since lost any hope of ever seeing anyone again. He hadn’t admitted it to himself yet, but Jonathan knew in his heart of hearts that he was totally alone in the world.

It was just about the time that Jonathan was ready to make that confession that he heard a sound in the distance. He was leaving the city limits of a small town in the Midwest and in the distance he could faintly but clearly hear the sound of a large, heavy hammer hitting a nail. Jonathan was both scared and excited as he ran toward the sound.

When he was about 150 yards away, Jonathan pulled up short because he finally saw what was causing the noise. From this distance he could see that there were three men there. One was lying down, with his arms spread wide. He was lying on something, but Jonathan could not tell from this distance what it was. Whatever it was, though, the other two men were nailing him down to it! He couldn’t believe his eyes, so he rubbed them to make sure he was not hallucinating. No, it was real. They were nailing his left hand down to whatever it was the man way lying on.

“STOP IT!” he yelled as he ran towards the three. They paid him no notice, but moved from the left hand to the right hand and continued hammering. As Jonathan quickly closed the gap, he yelled again “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!” He did not even slow down as he plowed shoulder first into the man with the large hammer, sending the man sprawling across the ground and the hammer spiraling up into the air. Both the man and the hammer landed about 15 yards away. Jonathan himself tumbled as a result of the blow but quickly pulled himself up so that he could take a run at the second man, who was still holding the large nail to the third man’s wrists.

Suddenly Jonathan realized and wondered at the fact that the man was not fighting to free himself. As he walked up to the two, he stood in shock and awe as he realized what he was seeing. It was a classic crucifixion scene like he had seen played out so many times during Easter passion plays. This scene, however, was not a play and was not fake. The man lying on the cross was naked and was literally being nailed down, but he gave no resistance. His body was bruised, battered, and bloody as if he had been beaten. There was a crown of thorns in his head just like he had seen in the pictures. The man was clearly in agony. Jonathan didn’t recognize him, and he certainly did not look like the paintings of Jesus that he had seen all his life. He looked at the two men, who were dressed as Midwest farmers. The one he had tackled was standing up and retrieving the hammer.

“What is this, what is going on?” Jonathan demanded.

The man holding the hammer simply walked back over to the cross. He did not, however, return to his hammering. Rather, he held the hammer out for Jonathan to take and simply said

“Finish it.”

Jonathan was horrified, but he held his composure, knocked the hammer out of the farmer’s hand, and simply said “No, this is insane.” Suddenly the two men were gone. Only Jonathan remained with the man lying on the wooden cross. The man looked at Jonathan and even though he was battered and disfigured, he could see clearly the love in his eyes.

“Jonathan.” His voice was strained through the pain, but when he said his name, Jonathan knew who he was. It was like a parent calling out a child’s name. But how could this be? How could this really be Jesus? Jonathan’s head swam and he thought he would faint, but when Jesus said his name again he recovered his senses.

“I don’t understand” he said. “What is happening?”

“You must complete the task, Jonathan. It is for you that I do this.”

“No… you can’t… not for me… I’m not worth it!”

“Yes, Jonathan, for you. Even though you are the only person in the whole world, I must die for you.” Tears began streaming down Jonathan’s face. “Now take up the hammer and finish it.”
Slowly, Jonathan reached down and picked up the hammer. He held it over his head and hesitated.

“No” he whispered again, but the loving eyes of Jesus said what his voice did not…

“Yes.”

Jonathan close his eyes and let the hammer fall. With the deafening sound of the hammer hitting the nail, Jonathan’s mind flashed to his childhood. He could see himself bullying little Sally from next door. Laughing as he pushed her down. The tears continued rolling down his face as he raised the hammer again. This time, when the hammer fell, he saw himself as a teenager in Algebra class, cheating on a test. Each and every time the hammer fell, he saw himself again and again in some act of disgrace or evil. Jonathan cringed at things that he had long since forgotten. To the world, Jonathan was a good man… but at the same time he was not a good man. So many hidden sins. So many secrets. So many memories. Arguments with his wife… little acts of indiscretion… compromises of his integrity.

As he moved from Jesus’ hands to his feet, Jonathan said weakly “I did this to you?”
Jesus did not respond.

By the time Jonathan completed nailing his feet, he was weeping uncontrollably. He walked over to the head of the cross and began lifting the cross. Jonathan strained as he raised the human-laden cross and set it into the hole in the ground especially prepared for that purpose. When the cross was fully raised, Jonathan approached Jesus and began kissing his bloodied feet. He was still weeping and as his face became covered with the blood from Jesus’ feet, he simply said “I’m sorry” and he collapsed into a sobbing mess at the foot of the cross, covering his face with his hands in shame and sorrow.

Jonathan had no idea how long he sat there. It may have been minutes or hours or even days, but it wasn’t until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder that he uncovered his face from his hands and looked around. The cross was gone, but Jesus was standing next to him. Jesus reached down and gently lifted him to his feet. He was fully clothed in white linen. He seemed to glow and a gentle, loving smile was on his face.

“Jonathan,” he said, “do you love me?”

Jonathan wasn’t exactly sure why he was asking the question and suddenly he remembered a similar scene from the Bible… the gospel of John if he recalled correctly. The correct response if he was not mistaken was “Lord, you know I love you.” But as he started to say it, Jonathan noticed on the horizon a large crowd of people making their way toward the two. At this distance, he could not make out who they were, but they were definitely headed that way. Jonathan pointed towards the crowd and opened his mouth to ask about them, but he hesitated as Jesus said it again.

“Do you love me, Jonathan?”

The crowd was now growing closer. They were still generally too far away for him to distinguish faces for the most part, but out in front of all of them were four that he could clearly distinguish even at this distance. It was Gena and his three children. He wanted to rush to them, but he wanted to stay with Jesus. He was torn, but for the moment anyway, he stayed.

“Yes, Lord, I love you.”

Once more Jesus asked the question. “Jonathan, do you really love me. Do you love me more than these? Do you love me more than anything else in all the world?”

The question cut to his soul. His time in solace had made Jonathan keenly aware of how much he loved his family. He would do anything for them. He looked up and could clearly make them out now, walking toward him. He could make out others as well. In fact, he knew them all. It was all those whose names he had been calling each day. Everyone in his sphere of influence was now coming his way. He was somewhat taken aback by how many there were, but he quickly realized that over the last days and weeks he had grown to love them all – even in their absence. Yes, he loved them all. But did he love them more than he loved Jesus? He realized now what Jesus had done for him. He never really realized it before. He never really comprehended that it was because of him that Jesus had to die. He was grateful for that. He was even more grateful that death had not contained him. It was true. He did love Jesus and he loved him more than all these. Jonathan turned from the approaching crowd and looked at Jesus.

“Yes, Lord… I love you even more than these.”

Jonathan’s family was only about 100 yards away now. Jesus looked deep into Jonathan’s eyes and replied… “Then feed my sheep.”

Jonathan sat up in bed with a gasp. His face was sweating – or was it tears? He looked over at the alarm clock, which was glowing a dim blue in the darkness of his bedroom. It was 3:30 a.m. His wife was sleeping peacefully at his side. Was it a dream? And yet it seemed so real. Could it have really happened? There was no denying that it at least felt real. He could remember the days and weeks and months of wandering aimlessly and alone, but now he was back in his bed as if nothing had ever happened.

A dream - that is what it was. It was a dream. But it was also real to him and he knew that he would never be the same as a result. He would be a better father and husband. He would be the spiritual leader of their family. He would not be defined by the office, but rather would be defined by the savior. He would stop running from his calling. He would teach his family and his friends the truths of scripture. He would take a stand.

Jonathan raised his hand up to wipe the sweat – or was it tears – from his face. Only then did he realize that he was grasping on to something tightly. So tightly in fact that his hands were white. Slowly, he opened his hand to reveal what was inside – two small miniature masonry nails.

It was a dream… right?

Note: Even if you were the only person on the Earth, Jesus would have still died for you!