Know that you know

Yesterday I had to participate in what could only be classified as a "pastorly" activity. As shephed, it happens and you must respond to it. One of the sheep needed counseling. Last Sunday, one of the sweet little old ladies in the assisted living center "congregation" where I serve as Volunteer Pastor came up to me after the service and requested a counseling appointment. This is not that big a deal. I'm not a counselor, but I can listen to her and, if necessary, share with her whatever biblical insight that the Holy Spirit brings to mind. The problem is this: Every pastor knows that he is not the most spiritually mature person in his congregation. There is always that one person (usually a sweet little old lady) whom everyone knows is so close to God that if she says "jump" - then everyone, including the pastor, jumps. This was that little old lady. So yesterday I stopped by her suite at the center for a little visit.

After the pleasantries, she says "last week, you said in your sermon that the church is full of unsaved people..."

Oh no... she's going to tell me how wrong I am and that perhaps I was too harsh or even mean-spirited... get prepared to jump.

"Yes," I replied... and I went on to clarify how my remarks were a commentary on what Jesus said in Matthew 7 and that I believed he meant that there are many in the church who believe they are saved but really are not.

"I want to make sure I really am saved," she said.

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SURELY YOU ARE KIDDING ME? IF ANYONE IN THIS LITTLE CONGREGATION IS SAVED, IT IS YOU... OK, I didn't say that, but I was thinking it. You have to understand. Each Sunday, when I show up at Hearthstone, I always look forward to seeing this lady. The reason is simple. When I see her, I see Jesus. You know what I mean? There are just some people who so reflect the light of Jesus that it evident beyond evident. I want to be that person. I'm not. She is. So no matter how poorly my Sunday morning may have been to that point, her disposition and reflection of Christ is always such an encouragement to me that it almost always helps put me in a great frame of mind for worship. So, despite my thoughts, that is not what I said... What I did say though was this...

"What makes you think you are not saved?"

She went on to talk about her doubts and for the next 30 minutes or so we had a very interesting diatribe about "knowing that you know that you know." She shared her salvation experiences and struggles. I shared mine. She shared her doubts. I shared mine. We discussed the plan of salvation, which she knew in her head, believed in her heart, and for which she placed her faith for salvation. She told me how she shared her doubts with her kids (one of whom is a full time missionary) and how their response was "MOTHER, Don't be rediculous - you're the most saved person I know!"

DUH - That's what I said... not really... just another unspoken thought.

The reality, though, was that she didn't have peace. Her doubts were crippling her. At that point, I shared with her that there were two different types of "doubt" that enter our minds. The first (which really isn't doubt in the truest sense of the word) is the conviction of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit works in us to convict us of our sin and to draw us to God, convincing us of our need for salvation. The second (which really is doubt in the truest sense of the word) is a tool that Satan uses to try to defeat us and make us ineffective Christians. The first makes us think "I am a sinner and I need God." The second makes us think either "God could never accept me" (if you are not already saved) or (if you are saved) "My faith is not enough, so I'm not really saved." I was more than confident that she was experiencing the latter, but only she could come to that conclusion for herself.

The time came in the conversation for me to remind her what Jesus said in Matthew 7:21

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

I reminded her that the evidence of our salvation is the fruit in our lives and the fact that we live lives that are obedient to Christ. So I asked her:

"If you look back on your life, would you say that (in general) it has been characterized by obedience to Christ?" It was a risky move on my part, because it was sort of sounding like I was asking her about her good works and whether she deserved salvation as a result... but I was working an angle...

She responded by giving me a short synopsis of her spiritual journey and how she believed she had been obedient and then said the following:

"Not once, though, did I ever think these things were earning me salvation. I didn't do them to be saved. I know that Jesus paid the price for my sin and that is the only way I can be saved. I did them because I wanted to serve Jesus and be obedient."

Eureka. I couldn't have said it any better myself. She didn't live a life of obedience to earn God's favor; she lived a life of obedience because she loved God. We are not saved by our actions. We do not do good works to earn God's favor. Nothing we can do can satisfy our sin debt.... BUT... when we fully place our trust in Him, he changes us inside. We develop a growing desire to serve Him more and more. We become obedient because we love Him, have made him LORD, and have submitted our will to His will.

"And that's how you know..."