Monday, October 15, 2012

Midnight Adventures in a Mid-October Storm


I awake to the sound of not-so-distant thunder… then roll over to go back to sleep.
Another clap, much closer, and much louder…
The Beautiful One never even flinches.
Surely, the power cannot - will not - last…ah, there it goes. 
The light from my bedside clock now sleeps but I am awake.
My CPAP is silent. No CPAP means no sleep.
I roll over. The Beautiful One still slumbers.
THE DOG!  Sasha is outside and will want to come in.
Sasha fears lightning as bad as any 5 year old child.
I stumble out of bed in the darkness and wonder about the time. 
No power. No clock. 
I make my way through the obstacle course that is the bedroom.
As I open the bedroom door another close strike rattles the walls. 
The Beautiful One sleeps on.
Sasha will be having a conniption for sure.
As I pass the bookshelf I reach to see if my emergency flashlight is still on the shelf.
It is.
Turning it on, I make my way to the back door.
Sasha is there, eager to come in. 
She is wet – one shake later so am I.
As Sasha and I head down the stairs to her crate in the basement, I notice the streetlight outside illuminating the front yard.  Odd.
As Sasha and I enter to garage, the light from the garage door illumitates the basement.  Even odder.  Maybe the power is back on.
Sasha obediently enters her crate and I head back to bed.
Yep.  The streetlight is definitely shining bright outside.
In the bedroom, though, my bedside clock and my CPAP machine are both still asleep.
So is The Beautiful One.

I lay down but I am uneasy.
How can this be?  Lights outside. Lights in the basement.  No lights here?
The lightning must have thrown a breaker.  A much closer hit than I originally thought.
I get up again.  The Beautiful One sleeps on.
This time as I pass through the living room, I turn on the lights. 
They work.  Must be just my bedroom.  Gotta be a breaker.
Downstairs again.  I find the breaker box.  Yes, there it is. 
The red indicator. A quick flip. Off. On. Indicator gone.
Back to the bedroom.
The soft blue glow from my bedside clock tells me is is 1:09AM.
The low purr of my CPAP tells me all is back to normal… or is it?
I see the Thin Mint under the bed. I don’t like the cat in the bedroom at night, so I run her out.
I climb back into bed, but unlike The Beautiful One, sleep evades me.

Something is not right.  I know not what it is. Why can I not sleep?
The garage door light!  Why was it on?
Why would a light be on that only works when the garage door has been activated?
Could it be?  Is someone in the house?
Surely not.  There’s no way.  The car is in the garage, so how would it have been activated?
My truck is outside and probably not locked.
The storm outside is bad.  They could be looking for shelter.
What would I do?  Shoot them?  No my gun is locked away.
Beat them?  With what, my charm and good looks?
Still, I must do something...  call 911?
Not yet, not until I am sure.  Maybe I am over-reacting.

In the storm, with my ears full of rain, thunder, and the ever present drum of CPAP, is it possible for the garage door to have opened and I did not hear it?
I am certain of it now.  Someone is in the house.  They must be.
Once again I arise.  The Beautiful One does not.  Better for her not to know.
The living room light comes on. 
I head to the stairs. Thin Mint weaves in and out of my legs. How annoying.
The stairwell light comes on. I head down the stairs. Thin Mint follows.
The basement light comes on.  I open the basement door.
Hi Sasha.  Anyone here?  Her look says “No, why are you bothering me?”
Quickly I survey the garage.
No one here that I can see.  No one in the car.  Had to be sure.
The storage room (which used to be The Man Cave but not anymore - sad).
Nope.  No one there either.  A sigh of relief.
Thin Mint is waiting at the door back into the main part of the house.
I head back upstairs. Thin Mint stays. She has found a bug.
Back to bed. The Beautiful One is still oblivious to all.

Why can I not sleep?  Could I have missed something?
Maybe when I came upstairs the first time, The Elusive Intruder slipped into the house from the basement.
As soon as I go to sleep, he will come slit our throats.
Lord, keep us safe.
Should I get up and look again?
Lord, keep us safe.
I should get up and look again.
Lord, keep us safe.  
Get up and look again, stupid.
I get up. The Beautiful One never stirs.
Living room light on.
Thin Mint is there waiting.
Dining room light on.  Nothing in the kitchen or dining room.
College Boy #1 bedroom light on.  Nothing. Off again.
College Boy #2 bedroom light on. Nothing. Off again.
Bathroom light on and then off again. 
Did I really think The Elusive Intruder would be taking a potty break?  I guess I had to be sure.
Dining room light off.  Thin Mint stares, wondering what I am doing.
Stairwell light on.
Downstairs den light on.  Nothing.  Off again.
Deep sigh.  There’s nowhere left to hide.  
I was so sure, but I am glad to be wrong.
Maybe I can sleep now.

Who am I kidding? I am more awake now than ever.
No more rain.  Let’s check the weather anyway.
With a point and click of the remote, the TV comes alive to the sound of a paparazzi show.
Hmmm. Tom Cruise is leaving the Church of Scientology?  That’s interesting.
Russell Crowe is breaking up with his wife of 9 years. How sad.
Who cares!  Find the Weather Channel.
Oh wait. I don’t need the Weather Channel. I have an app for that.
Looks like more rain is coming, but the second wave does not look as bad.
On TV, there is an infomercial about pay as you go cell phone service.  PLEASE.
Maybe this adventure has reached its end.  TV off.

The Beautiful One is still sound asleep and yet I cannot.
One last time to get up.
Sigh.  The rain has returned. 2:38AM.
It has been an hour and a half.  
I am comfortable now that The Elusive Intruder was a figment of my imagination.
So glad The Beautiful One can sleep.  One of us should.

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